How to Make Friends as a Teenager

Friendships can change in your teenage years. 

Group dynamics shift. 

Personalities change. 

You start a new school, college, or go to uni, and don’t know anyone.

Your bestie starts dating and forgets you exist for a while… 

If you’re in your teens and want to make new friends, but you’re not sure how, read on!

The ingredients of a new friendship

• Time. To make friends with someone, you need to spend quality time with them and meet up with them regularly.  
• Shared interests. This gives you something to talk about and a natural reason to spend time together. 
• Kindness. Hopefully this one’s obvious, but being friendly, kind and approachable makes a huge difference! 

Where to meet new friends as a teenager

Do you always sit next to the same person in class?

It’s hard to branch out and meet new friends when you see the same people every day. New hobbies, part time jobs and volunteering are opportunities to meet new people and see them regularly. You also end up with shared experiences to talk about. 

How to grow your friendship group

Maybe you have a close-knit group of friends, but you want to add more to your squad. Or perhaps you have friends who don’t know each other, with no core friendship group. You can be the one to introduce these people to each other. Your new mates will appreciate the way you made them feel included. 

How to be included by including others: become the organiser

Does your group have one person who always organises everything? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about whether you’ll be invited or not? 

Some people seem to be natural organisers. They’re confident enough to start that group convo and to risk rejection when they invite friends to hang out. They’re organised enough to make plans. But sometimes, these organisers like being invited by someone else for a change! 

If you’ve never organised anything before, keep it short and simple. If you’re shy, it helps to have an activity to focus on. Something low pressure like a game of frisbee in the park or going to a free event together.

Worried about upsetting the person who normally organises things? Invite them first! Scared of rejection? Try inviting new friends to something social you were going to do anyway, like joining a youth club together. That way, it’s a bonus if they come along.

3 Top tips for making friends in your teens:

1. Make the most of activities and events aimed at your age group. These are more likely to be free and help you meet people your own age.
2. Be open-minded. Ask people with different experiences and interests about what matters to them. It’s a conversation starter and a chance to broaden your horizons.
3. Trust your gut. If a new friend doesn’t respect your boundaries or tries to push you to do things you aren’t comfortable with, let them go. 

Useful conversation starters for making friends as a teenager:

• “Some of us are going to _________. Want to come?”
• “What do you like about ___________? I’d love to see it from your point of view.”
• “Have you ever been to __________? What was it like?”
• “Do you know my friend ___________? She also likes ___________. Maybe we can invite her next time.”

Making new friends can feel scary as a teenager, but it’s a life skill that’s well worth stepping out of your comfort zone to learn.

Useful links: 

• Activities map: https://clubhubuk.co.uk/clubs-for-teenagers-near-me/ 
• Volunteering: https://www.dofe.org/thelatest/volunteering-ideas/